How to Train your Dofly
by doggydeath
Summary: Okay, so apparently Featherbutt hasn't changed much in the four years I've been gone. Well, other than losing all his money, getting arrested, and the government hates him. I mean, it's not like anything worse can happen now... Right? Part 2 of the My Pet Doflamingo Story :3
1. Chapter 1

_Before us, there was gods of many kinds. They roamed our lands in the form of animals, wielding the elements with fearsome power._

 _They did not age as we did, nor did they feel our greed or lust. They simply lived in harmony, watching over us as they guarded their lands._

 _That is, until the greed of man tainted the giant beasts._

When most people talk about reuniting with their loved ones, I normally pictured something like hugs and teary eyes as they greeted each other. In the movies, there was rain normally and a crowd of people who miraculously never ran into you while having your drama moment. Poetic, beautiful. It was just how it was. Me? No, I apparently decided to break that mold right to hell. Though, being fair I'm dating a giant feathered ex-warlord whose pale ass was currently chained to the floor so maybe I'm a bit nuts. Just a tiny bit.

"OI! NEXT TIME YOU WANT TO DO THAT KIND OF SHIT TO CHILDREN, I'LL GO GIVE YOU A FREAKIN' WHATFOR YOU ASSHOLE!" I roared as I slapped his startled face as hard as I could. His head snapped sideways, other cheek hitting the stone he was still chained to. He looked stunned, though whether it was the fact I randomly popped out of thin air on top of him after four years of going missing, or if it was the fact I hit him I'm not sure. Also, I honestly didn't give a damn. I was too angry. Still, his face lit up at the sight of me.

"Kitten!" He croned, wiggling slightly as he tried to dodge another slap. "O-oi! Hey! What the hell?"

"DON'T YOU KITTEN ME!" I roared, digging my still claw-clad glove into his shoulder as I raised my bare hand in preparation. "I HEARD WHAT YOU DID TO THOSE CHILDREN! FEEDING THEM CANDY? DRUGGING THEM? WHAT ARE YOU, PEDOBEAR?!"

"I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT THAT IS!" Don shouted back, jerking out of the way from my hand as he growled at me. I growled back. "Why are you down here? _How_ did you get down here?"

"What?" I paused now, hand still raised as I frowned down at him. He huffed beneath me, probably rolling his eyes beneath those glasses of his. Asshat. I glared. "How do you think I got down here? I used my own portable Slendy-bendy man."

"Slendy...?" As if on cue, I felt his presence reappear behind me, no doubt irritated as he peered over my shoulder at Don. "Oh, that guy."

 _I have a place for you two picked out on this world._ Slendy slithered in my mind, his raspy growl making the goosebumps raise on my arms. I beamed up at him. _Don't look at me like that. I'm doing this to be rid of you._

"Aw, you love me. Admit it."

 _No._ was the curtled response. I laughed, winking a bit before turning back to Don with a dirty look.

"Alright, this is what we're doin'." I told him crossing my arms. Don quirked an eyebrow, laying back as he hummed in attention. "We're busting your feathered ass out of here, my good buddy Slendy is gonna be nice enough to warp us to an island far _far_ from here, and we're gonna lay low until you grow old and die. Then I'll wing it from there. Capiche?"

There was a long pause before a large grin grew over Don's face once more and that long ass tongue slid out of his mouth. "Fufufu, whatever says the lady right? Happy woman, happy day!" With that he squirmed a bit more, glancing at the chains that held him with interest. "But, you're gonna have to do something with these. Maybe get me clothes."

 _I already have that idiots clothes._ Slenderman informed me, head twisting around to stare at the bars behind us. _They were remarkably easy to find, given their size. As for the locks, I presume you remember how to pick locks?_

"Yeah, yeah." I grumbled pushing myself off Don's chest and towards one of his wrists. Squatting down I peered at the lock curiously, wrinkling my nose as I huffed. Noticing the look I was getting from Don, I glared daggers before slipping on my claw glove. I growled as I drew the sharp 'talon' into the keyhole. "What? I had to learn few skills."

"...Fufufu, my wittle kitty all grown up. Breaking me out of jail and everything." Don snickered, pausing a bit as he cracked his neck. I winced. "So, what were you doin' since I saw you last?"

"Shuddup Waddles, I'm concentrating." I growled, brows pinching when I realized I went too far one way and reset the lock. I glared at it before trying again. "You should try it sometime."

He grinned but stayed quiet, probably a good thing given how hard it was to hear the stupid lock anyway. It took a few tries as it was but eventually the lock popped open and his wrist was free. Snorting triumphantly I got back to my feet, marching over him to his other hand with renewed determination. I barely noticed his flexing his wrist as I made quicker work of his other restraints.

"So, what the hell did you do with the guards anyway?" Don asked finally when the last shackle was unlocked, sitting up and grimacing when his spine cracked back into place. I winced as well, standing up and offering him a hand as well. He took it, cackling a little when he came to a stand. "Seriously. All your shouting should've brought the army down let alone the idiots on this floor."

"Er.. they got sick."

"Eh?"

"Long story. Come on, let's get you out of here." Taking his hand I turned to look at the faceless 'man' behind me and stretched out my other hand. Slender reached out and grabbed both my hand and Don's shoulder with pale boney fingers, tentacles sliding from his back as the world began to shift and groan around us. Before we blacked out, I felt Don's hand squeeze mine and I held it tight back. He was there, he was safe. We were going to make it the best we could or damn well go down in history as the most screwed up pairing since Romeo and Juliet.

...Dammit.

 **Okay so I haven't written in 4 years about this, and I'm gonna try to do it now. Honestly, first I was trying to come up with ideas, then I forgot, then Don's arc started, then I wanted it to end so I could start somewhere, then I realized I may be screwed, then I forgot again, then I forgot what my idea for it was, now I'm winging it. I'll try to keep Kitty as in character, and Don too. Well, until next time!**

**Doggy D. Cookiethief**


	2. First Landing on our New Home

**Second Chapter D:**

* * *

Okay, so I may have pissed off Slender a bit more than I originally thought.

It wasn't like I could _tell_ , he didn't have a face. Yet hanging upside down in a viney tree from hell, swaying back and forth while down below Don pulled himself free of the bushes he managed to land in gave me a pretty good clue. The tentacle bastard was nowhere in sight of course, so I was left with king Feather Tuckus, a pile of his clothes in a heap, and myself. The start of what I was beginning to feel like a bad joke.

"Ya know Kitten, you've got quite the bit of bite to you now." Don mused when he finally spotted me in the tree, scowling and wriggling in an attempt to get loose. Cheeky bastard cackled at me. I tried to ignore him, yet soon his snickers turned into loud barking laughter and I was forced to huff at him as I lay limp. He beamed up at me, I shot daggers in return. Stripey bastard, if he thinks he can make me forget about those kids with a few jokes and winks, he's gonna get a lesson. "What? Kitty got tired already?"

"No, I thought I'd just stay up here for a bit and admire the view." I growled back, wrinkling my nose a bit before glancing around with a frown. "Speaking of which..."

The vines around me snapped and I shrieked in alarm, unable to catch myself with my hands bound up. Eyes clenched closed, I grit my teeth and readied for impact but what I got wasn't what I expected. Long, muscled arms caught me easily before I hit the mushy ground below, a soft grunt all that was told as he held me to his chest. The heavy smell of dirty sweat and seastone pulled into my nose, causing me to cringe but beneath it, I found something. The faintest hint of dry spices and seasalt. The one and only scent of BirdBrain. I huffed into his chest, determined to stay mad despite the tension trying to bleed from my shoulders. I growled at him softly.

"Are you getting cuddly, Kitten? Fufufu, I knew you'd stay smitten with me." Don croaned as he promptly craned his neck to rub his cheek on my hair. I grimaced. "Hmm? What's wrong?"

"Ugh, your breath _reeks._ " I grumbled pushing his head back with a firm butt of my own. He grunted his complaints, smile dropping off his face for a moment before he huffed back.

"Yeah, well good luck getting a _toothbrush_ down there." He snorted, shaking his head at me as he slowly lowered me to the ground. I winced as he began to untie my binds, realizing it had probably been a while since he _showered_ too. "What's with that look? You seemed pretty content to sit on me earlier."

"Yeah, but the whole place stank." I answered dryly. "Don't get me wrong, happy to see you and all but I ain't kissing you until you've at least brushed twice. Maybe a bit of mouthwash and a full body soak too. I mean, I've had to go through a week or two without a shower during The Battles, but I never really tried hugging people after. Seems kinda rude."

"Yeah, yeah." Don grumbled. Yanking the last vine free he sat crosslegged beside me, huffing when I stretched with a hearty groan. "Speaking of... what you call it? 'The Battles?' What the hell happened? You've been gone over four years now. You win?"

"Ah... sort of." I wrinkled my nose as I tried to think up a short way to sum the whole thing up. Finally I just gave up and leaned back on my hands, blowing my bangs out of my face as I raised an eyebrow. "I guess we'll start with the first Battle. See, thing is the whole started because two of us _Elemental_ got in a spat about who was stronger than who. Then, I guess like everything else in life, they dragged in a bunch more of us until we were pretty well ripping up worlds whenever we were even in the same area as each other. Eventually, I guess somebody realized we'd have to call truce or else we'd destroy everything. So _,_ somebody called truce and to ensure it wouldn't happen again in near future, we all got our memories wiped by the _Connections Elemental._ He made it so any relationship or memories we had of each other were wiped clean. New slate and all."

"Fast forward till when I got rudely launched into your world, and it seems like somehow the two _Elementals_ from last time are up to their shit again and dragging us in on it. Seeing how we don't remember anything about before, they make up a stories to get us on their side like 'cosmic balance' and 'evil powers'. We all think we're saving worlds from those other McDickers and low and behold, that's all a lie. Pop in Slendy who is one of the few guys who actually knew what was going on, and him trying to sort the shit out again, and 'ta da!'. Last four years of trying to stop everybody from kicking each other in the gonads, setting thing _back_ the way they were suppose to go or simply being a punching bag. Great fun."

"...Well, shit." Don stared at me for a long moment before scratching the back of his head. "So what, you've been doing damage control for four years?"

"Yep. Now everybody has atreaty that says we aren't suppose to fight with each other or we get our asses kicked then get dragged up to be judged by some biggy wigs I haven't even met yet." I grunted, rolling my eyes. "So, we go to court basically. Elemental court, but court. Lucky, lucky us."

Judging by the look on his face, he wasn't entirely getting it but he seemed accept it at least. Still, I crossed my arms and gave her a stern look.

"Speaking of past four years. What the hell were you thinking?" I growled. "S.M.I.L.E.S? Seriously? Billy Goat Gas butt and those kids were a nasty route you took."

"Hey, I was doin' that long before you came 'round." Don said crossing his own arms. I glared. "I couldn't exactly just pull all stops you know. Who would keep the collars on those dogs if I didn't keep them fed? Huh? The government?"

"I have absolutely no idea what you're going on about, but I'm still firmly disappointed. Children! _Kids!_ That's a freakin' no no, jackass!" I scowled I promptly began shaking a finger at him. He glared at me, veins in his head beginning to pop out as his lip began to curl up. I growled. "Don't you puff at me, old man. I may be smaller but I can still kick your Jewelers in the moneybags."

He ground his teeth so hard I could hear them cracking from here, his face darkening as his hands draped in his lap began to clench. Iwas about to snap at him again when I realized it wasn't going to help, his exhaustion and my stress no doubt 'helping' with our tempers. So instead I sighed, rubbing my nose with a knuckle as he brooded across from me. I grimaced. "You know, as much as I missed you I seem to forget how we work most days."

"How's that?" Don grumbled, head lifting slightly to peer over at me.

"Like old people. One day we're great, the next I throw paint in your hair and you get pervy, then we fight like cats and dogs, then you're a pervert again." I shrugged. "Though thinking farther back, I guess this is how we started the first time. Well, sort of. At least I trust you this time. Before I thought you were just a dirty old man stealing clothes."

"...Seriously?"

"No. I just thought you were colorblind." I grinned causing him to roll his eyes. "Hey! You wear glasses all the time and let me tell you, pink dead bird on your back clashed awful with orange pants. Also, the Hawaiian shirt? Not with those genie shoes." He gave me a short look and I couldn't help but giggle. "Sorry, sorry. I'm sure your fashion will catch on soon."

"It would've caught on fine back on Dressrosa if I hadn't been overthrown by those brats." Don growled. I sighed, deciding not to rock that sour ship.

"Alright, come on. You get dressed." I said getting to my feet and dusting off my pants. "I'm gonna take a look around and see if I can't find out where Slendy dropped our sorry asses off."

He grunted, reaching for the haphazard pile of clothes when I turned my back and began heading off in a direction, pausing to snap branches or mark bark as I went. Learned that trick pretty quick when teams separate. Poor Rejar never got over the trauma of spending a night in a cave surrounded by baboons. Of course, he also left me in a pit of smelly sludge and Bog so all was fair in friendship and karma. I rolled my eyes at the thought, chuckling a little as I peered around me curiously. A steep sloped dirt path, wide enough to fit two wagons and well walked on. So, the island was inhabited then? Boot prints and wagon grooves told me it was man that was on the island, but who and what they ate (because cannibals were _not_ friendly neighbors I'll tell you now) were a mystery. I grunted.

I peered up at the mountain side, now clear from the trees and towering over me like a king amongst his people. Heavy gray, with what I think was snow near the tops judging by the looks. I grimaced. So the island got some cold weather? I hoped not. Still, dense grass and wild berries hinted it was nearing fall if that was the case. I made a face, turning my attention to the trees for a moment longer before sighing. He wasn't far off, he could fly up and find me if he really felt the urge. Still, I lingered in the road with arms crossed, debating what to do as I waited for him to emerge.

We couldn't really go many places, given he was a now highly wanted man. Marines crawling around this deep in the sea no doubt spelled trouble, and with no Bell, we couldn't exactly _afford_ to buy a ship even if we did want to sail. Unless we stole it I guess but that's just asking for an ass kicking at this point. We were strong, together or separated but we couldn't fight an army. No, it was better to lay low probably. Maybe build a life out of whatever we could here. Unless of course there was cannibals, then we were moving. Hell on that walking Hentai if he thinks I'm going to be around people who'll nom off my toes in my sleep.

I glared off at nothing, biting at my lip as I tried to piece together a plan. That is, until a large hand plopped on my head and ruffled my hair causing me to yelp and spin. Behind me Don grinned, his once jailer clothed body now back in that familiarly terrible attire. I rolled my eyes as he cackled at me, his legs already in waddle stance as he slipped his hands into his pockets and his tongue rolling out. Like I was never gone.

"So, the island looks inhabited at least." I said with a roll of my eyes. He cocked his head. "Haven't seen anybody yet, but I figure town-" I waved a hand down the road. "ought to be that way. Or at least, something. They'd want a dock near the sea I figure, right?"

"It'd make sense." Don agreed, turning to look up at the mountain with a hum. "Quite the view too. Your 'friend' picked quite the location."

"Yeah, well. With any luck we'll be able to actually stay." I glanced up at him and frowned, wracking my brain a little as I tried to think up a plan. Above me he peered up at the sky with a low hum.

"Well, unless you have Bell, I suggest looking for a shack or something to sleep in tonight." Don stated with a hum, scratching the back of his head with a wrinkled nose. "Shouldn't be seen either, given my new... _status._ "

"You look for shelter, I'll try and find a town and get some information. Meet back here after?" I offered. He grunted in agreement though his lips drew down into a tight scowl. I winced, scratching at the back of my head gently with my claws as glanced up at him. "Hey we'll get through this you know? Just got stick together through the bull shit." Feeling a wave of determination I marched forward and without a pause threw my arms around his wide waist. I pushed my face into his abs and squeezed as I promptly nuzzled him, grinning wide when I felt his hands gently touch my back. "I mean, between your giant ego and my growing abilities, it isn't like we can lose each other anyway."

Don snickered, toying with the short locks of hair at the back of my head.

"Missed ya Kitten." He murmured softly.

"Missed you too, Featherbutt."

 **Second chapter up! Not too long, sorry but I figure short but quick chapters were better than long but forever. XD**

 **Remember, Read and Review! Each message, review, and cookie gives me joy! If not, well thanks for reading it anyway! HANG TIGHT GUYS!**

 **Doggy D. Cookiethief**


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